Friday, March 28, 2008

DAY 146--OPENING NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

Are you kidding me? Apparently the judges of the DIARY OF THE DEAD contest can be easily swayed by competent photography, since that's the only thing that doesn't suck in this allegedly humorous runner-up. (The previous film in the top five, DEADER LIVING THROUGH CHEMISTRY, got its own write-up earlier on Day 122.) I've never been fond of talking zombies, since they rarely work, but if you really need your undead to speak, do they have to talk like Tonto and Tarzan? They're dead, not newly-arrived foreigners.

A trio of zombies head to the local bijou--Monroeville Cinemas, to be exact--for the premiere of the new living dead opus DUSK OF THE DEAD, with hilarious results. The concessionist asks if they want peanut or brain--I mean plain--candy! One zombies spills his candy all over the floor! They comedically shiver in fear as their cinematic brother gets shot in the head! And let's not forget the hilarious fourth wall-shattering conclusion, as we find out the zombies are watching a film in a film! Oh, I think my side just split!

As somebody who works in a movie theater, I can attest with due authority that a big-screen multiplex is the perfect setting for a zombie satire, as endless hordes of bodies blindly stumble through the lobby on their way to feast on brainless entertainment. This, however, ain't satire. It's not funny, poorly acted, and while I begrudgingly concede its technical strength, it's not nearly enough to make this three-minute loser worth watching.

(As with the other DIARY OF THE DEAD shorts, you can see this at www.myspace.com/diaryofthedead.)

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